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April 8, 2008

Can "Those Guys" Really Do Whatever They Want?

I get this call or email at least once, usually more times, each day: "How can those guys [meaning the board] do whatever they want? Is there really no end to their power?"

Well, what does one say to that? It's a vague and broad statement, question, and premise. What I say is: "That is really general and broad. I can't really give you a meaningful answer." If they don't hang up in frustration, I might go on to ask if they want a consultation. Obviously, I need to know more, but I do not do free consultations. That turns some people off. I understand why. However, it does not change my manner of practice.

Maybe that sounds just like a lawyer - does that sound crass? I find that if I let owners get started on their "case", they often get frustrated if I try to stop them and suggest that their problems go beyond a simple answer. Some even get belligerent, assuming that once they have my "ear", I am required to listen to the whole story. Occasionally, someone will insult me before they hang up with something like: "I thought you were here to help people ... I guess not." [click]

Perhaps a view from a "lawyer's side" who does actually "try to help" will help you get perspective on this.

Imagine getting several calls a day begging for free help. I already spend at least 20% of my working time providing free information for the website and in other industry communications geared to reach "the masses", because I believe there is a great need for HOA owners and board members and others to be educated about living and solving problems in an HOA. Yet some people still expect more, pressing me to listen and tell them "whether [they] have a case." They want to know that before they are willing to spend any money. I understand that thinking of course, because some of those who call me have been given bad information before - that they paid good money for(and paid for it) and some have searched and searched for help. I have sympathy, and empathy; however, what I do not have is a lot more free time. My time is limited and I have family commitments (2 kids, 5 grandchildren, 2 aging parents, lots of friends) and hobbies like photography. I also have a need to get as much fresh air as I can by being outdoors.I have little time left over to "chat about a particular problem" several times a day. Many of you out there think your problem is unique, but actually, its not. You can tell by reading my blogs that you are not alone, and it is likely something I have already published or will publish will help you greatly. I even get calls from non-HOA lawyers with HOA clients who would like me to educate them on how to proceed with their client's case. Some callers get rather testy when I suggest that they might need to do some work on their own to get what they want.

And last but before I get off the soapbox, perhaps the most frustrating thing is when people pay for a consultation, are provided with steps they can take to better their situation, and then say: "So what are you going to do for me?" Or "Well if I have to do all that, obviously you can't fix the problem for me, so you must not be a "real" lawyer.

I got news for 'ya. I am a "real" lawyer who has lots of experience with HOA problems and lots of valuable tools in my tool chest. However, I am not a miracle worker. I cannot "fix" people. I can define problems, educate, call people "on the carpet" who are doing something identifiably wrong, write letters that make a difference, make respectable demands and get satisfaction in many cases, suggest a course of action, and pose pragmatic and non-big-expensive-court-involved solutions for just about every problem that involves an HOA situation. I expect follow through by people who want to "win" some justice or satisfaction.

Imagine people expecting that someone else will actually "fix" their life in the association with their boards or neighbors, some without any participation on their part, and some even without even offering some kind of olive branch or reasonable behavior on their side of the fence. In many cases, this is what it comes down to: people want an easy answer, a free answer, and don't want any hassle, don't want to "waste" their precious time on the solution, and in some cases, rare but disturbing, they become very critical of the someone (me) that does not jump at the chance to serve them. I think it is a social phenomenon - that sense of "entitlement" that many have. Luckily it has not spread to everyone.

I have some words of wisdom for those people who blame others for everything and are not willing to do their share of the work - do not call me.

Now, on a lighter note. I very much appreciate the people who drink in what is offered to them, those who write every day and thank me for the website and all the information it offers. I get about many emails a day from people who appreciate the free information and resources offered. And don't cha know that those are the people who are going to use that information to help themselves figure out how to deal with their problems. I appreciate the folks who pay for a consultation, absorb what I can give them like a sponge, and then report back to me the successes they achieve. Those who are patient enough to start with "baby steps" often get to satisfaction. of accountability and concessions, which ofte or a sense of empowerment that allows them to move on to the next level, determined and armed with valuable information, sometimes even willing to run for the Board and serve.

Education is power, people. Looking to others to solve your life's problems is not the way to solve them. Look to others to provide the tools and education you need, and run with it. There is no satisfaction like solving your own problem. I remember a day years ago when living on my own as a single mother that I researched, ordered and installed my own oven element (back in the days when I used to bake and cook). It may seem like a menial thing (especially to someone of the opposite sex), but it made me feel stronger .

If you want help, check out my website - http://www.californiacondoguru.com, and read, read, read. You can also purchase tools, research other useful sites, and learn something. If you need something more specific (California law only) ask for a paid consultation and find out what your specific options are, and the pros and cons of the position you would like to take. Absorb the information I give you on those aspects and the other resources I recommend. Put on your "listening" ears. Then take that education and put it to good use!

Posted by Beth Grimm at April 8, 2008 11:08 AM