« Cold is Relative - Making Do In Challenging Circumstances | Main | Are You Being Defamed? You Don't Have to Stand For It. »
December 14, 2007
Would You Like To Win The Next Argument - Or At Least Be Heard?
If you want to win an argument with someone, you may need to try some real tactics - in order to be heard - because that is what it is about - being heard. I am going to concentrate a few messages on this topic, because I expect to be teaching and writing on this subject often in the months ahead. Here are some tactics that tend to work, if there is any chance of having a decent exchange.
One: Let the other person spout off some during the discourse. You cannot get through to someone who is filled with anger, righteousness, indignation, or a burning desire to be "heard"! Once that someone has had a chance to rant (no punching or slapping allowed though), they are as maleable as they are ever going to be and while they are coming up for air - it's your turn.
Two: If you begin to sound like a broken record, you need to STOP IT! - even if you feel you are 100% RIGHT AND THE OTHER PERSON OR EVERYONE ELSE IS 100% WRONG. People will simply become immune to your message. If you shake up your message or your approach, or both, that will probably take the someone you are fighting with or the everyone who disagrees with you by surprise, and may even result in getting someone to listen.
These tips are not for my edification - they really work! You can develop your own listening skills, but if the person on the other side of the table has none, then you have to help them out. It's that simple.
Posted by Beth Grimm at December 14, 2007 1:59 PM