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April 25, 2007
Singling Out Children - What Can We Do?
The following is a somewhat common complaint ... especially common in a development that started out either being advertised as a community for seniors or mature people or a smaller community that attracted more "mature" (meaning older) residents. In 1988 the Federal Laws changed such that seniors communities have to have certain attributes to continue to prevent younger residents. Since many developments no longer qualified after the law changed, younger families began to move in to these developments and it created an uncomfortable situation for many. So here is a recent common complaint from the younger set:
"I feel as we are being targeted for having kids and the kids can't go outside with out being yelled or cursed at. There is no place to play but we live in a court so the kids want to use the street for basketball and frisbee, but the neighbors continually complain. What can we do? "
And here is a complaint from the older set:
"We have children in our neighborhood running wild. There is no place for them to play so they play in the parking lot. I pray every day that I do not run over a child - can't the Board stop this? Maybe if the rules were enforced, these families would move on - somewhere meant for kids. What can we do?
I could say "... Just learn to get along!" But it would not matter which of the above parties I said that to ... the differences do not go just fade away through logical thinking. Everyone wants to be comfortable in their living situation.
So, here are some suggestions I have made in this scenario:
If you have a clubhouse or meeting room, try to arrange some Saturday parties or activities to achieve interaction between the older and younger families, the children and adults. Put up a sign announcing the activities and make them inviting. There are many possibilities: ask for volunteers of older folks to share stories with the younger ones, have a reading hour with volunteers and children's books, set up a game afternoon for cards lor games like "Go Fish" or "Old Maid", puzzles or even charades.
If there is no place to play, but the street or parking lot, consider allowing some activities, possibly limited at times of the day when the areas are least busy, with volunteers to oversee or supervise the activities, warn of cars, blow a whistle, get everyone to the side of the street, in other words, the kinds of oversight that one might use at a pool to give everyone a break or address a situation where the pool needs to be emptied.
Look for a solution, an area in the development that might be developed into a small tot lot and explore that as a possibility - if the children of the younger variety.
Seek out and provide information about programs, parks, schools, churches or other places nearby where children can get involved in activities.
There is no easy answer - but someone needs to make an effort to find common ground between the "youngsters" and "oldsters". Otherwise, you may face "war", political stress and ongoing complaints at board meetings, demands and complaints back and forth between and among neighbors, and at the worst, a Fair Housing Complaint based on comments, actions, rules or something else going on that makes families with children feel like they are being mistreated. Real or perceived, this kind of ultimate result is painful for all involved.
Posted by Beth Grimm at April 25, 2007 7:23 PM