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April 7, 2006
Regulating Human Behavior - What Can You Do?
A nasty person often remains a nasty person. A crazy often remains a crazy. Belligerance is seldom curable. Selfish behavior is common in self-centered people. Stupidity, although it can be cured, takes a willing idiot.
Homeowner Association Boards are somehow expected to be able to fix everything. They are expected to act on everything that an owner wants them to act upon. They are asked to solve problems that derive from human behavior, something no one really has much control over. Of course, punishment can be meted out, rules can be adopted, and those kind of deterrents work on reasonable people, but what about the rest.
I wish I could offer a viable solution that could be applied to all difficult people situations. I have talked about noise issues, irresponsibility in reporting leaks, confrontations by idiots and how to respond, what might be expected of boards if one owner is harrasing another, and all kinds of situations involving people that are probably not going to change.
So what can a board do? Get help. Its all about pushing the right "buttons", and sometimes, though seldom, there is no viable "button", but at least a Board may get points for trying. Don't try to fix a person; try what is needed to give them incentive to change their behavior.
A few examples:
If a person is stupid, or acting stupid, educate them, in the clearest way possible. If they do not believe you, find something that comes from another source, a trusted or respected source. Perhaps a book, an article, a blog, a friend, judge, neighbor, or parent, or child (such as in an elderly parent suffering from various mental deficiencies).
If a person is harassing or threatening another person, get help from a knowledgeable source: an attorney or a police officer. These people can help lead you to resources you can point out to the owner that is the victim - indivuduals can file with the courts without an attorney for restraining orders to protect themselves. The police can sometimes intervene. Neighborhood watch officers can help groups of people cope with and beat crime in the neighborhood.
If one owner is doing something in their unit that completely annoys the neighbor, and the neighbor is retaliating, get them the info on the local conflict resolutoon panel. Maybe threaten association action, depending on the facts or situation, but realize at what point it is about conduct that is equally bad that is driving the disputes and the activities.
If a person is an idiot, read my earlier blog.
All I can tell you is that I have helped many associations and many owners solve many problems, but still have to say that not every approach works in every situation. I am a strong advocate of Association policies so that consistency is the order of the day, and Board members have road maps to go by. I have often opined that it is harder for an owner to argue with a piece of paper than the Board President (hence, the value of policies), However, when you are dealing with a person who has no regard for rules, reasonable behavior, or other people, sometimes you just have to punt. But don't go blind with it. Get help from someone skilled in dealing with the challenges.Sometimes board members or managers have had difficult people training. If there is no one in your association that has any specialized training then get help early, before the person who is causing you to lose sleep at night does too much damage, or frustrates the board into threatening resignations en masse. For every problem, there is a solution (this is my favorite phrase). Sometimes it just takes the right combination of forces and awhile to figure it out.
Posted by Beth Grimm at April 7, 2006 10:43 PM