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February 18, 2006
What Do You Do With An Obnoxious Board Member (Bully)?
What do you do when a board member or anyone else that "gets in your face", threatens you, or won't shut up even after making whatever point it is they are trying to make? This is a question that could be faced by an owner, other board members, and even the Association's service providers (manager, attorney, CPA, etc.) The "perpetrator" could be a man or it could be a woman.
Well, the simple answer is "Keep your cool!"
With that, you are more able to "tune them out", think of counter arguments (if its worth arguing with an idiot), gather yourself for the big comeback, or move on, without allowing that person to cloud your own thinking. It happened to me the other night. A candidate for the board who had just been elected and was already trying to bully a board into acting in a manner that was not legal got very heated when I opined that the law did allow what this person was proposing. This person began to argue that there was lots of information available on the web and that he/she had read on the internet that the board could do it. The other board members had no control over this outburst, and sort of collectively expressed great misgivings about whether they wanted to continue to serve with this kind of obnoxious behavior to look forward to. I silently sympathized with them, thinking "what a way to spend an evening each month." But someone had to bring a halt to scene. I was embarrassed for the instigator. I thought the person was making a fool of themselves. I simply said to the Board - and this person - "the Board has a choice, do you want to take legal advice from this person? Or from me?"
That brought things into perspective.
I believe the kind of conduct exposes the person (idiot I should say) as someone who has little professionalism and if allowed to bully others into submission, could do a great deal of damage to an association. In the person's defense, they were quite frustrated in their attempts to make something happen that was not a slam dunk favorable idea because of the cost involved. Still, frustrated or not, obnoxious behavior is not pretty or necessarily forgivable. I would hope that in any similar instance, conduct that exceeds a simple outburst of frustration would be viewed as immature and not worthy of respect.
If you know of a board member or owner, or a service provider, who acts out in this manner, there are various ways to deal with the conduct - in a legal and professional manner. (Of course, if you could just opt for sticking earplugs in your ears or placing earmuffs on your head as a symbollic measure. That might work and it is cheaper. Humor can work wonders if the timing is right.) The more serious remedies include (need to do legally - not necessarily per advice you find on the web, unless of course it is approved by your attorney) barring them from meetings and/or meaningful discussions on just about anything, or neutralizing their position on the board (see earlier blog about confidentiality issues) . The road to get there may be bumpy, and it could require an expenditure of money for the earmuffs or the right kind of help, be it someone in the legal profession or otherwise, but you do not have to put up with a bully. And resigning from service, although it might seem appealing, just leaves the bully in charge. That is never a good idea.
Posted by Beth Grimm at February 18, 2006 3:49 PM