For whatever reason, it seems that in every association there is someone you just can’t please. (I think it’s the old marketing “80/20” rule in action!) They “bad mouth” you to other residents, are abusive on the phone and no matter what you do, they just aren’t happy.
Fortunately, I only have a couple of those, one of whom is the topic for today. Now this is a person that over the years has been ejected from board meetings, and, due to verbal abuse, has been told she is only to communicate in writing to the office.
She recently called the office to talk about a leak she has in the bathroom. It was a most pleasant conversation! She said she remembered articles in our newsletters referencing common maintenance issues and thought I might be able to help her figure out the source of the leak. After she described it, I gave her a couple of suggestions (replacing the cartridge in her shower and checking the caulking around her tub spigot and overflow) and she thanked me. She even said, she “knew I could help her!” A couple of weeks later, she called about a different problem and in her message, she thanked me for my “wise advice” since they had determined it was, in fact, the caulking around the overflow device that was the source of the leak.
What this proves is that it truly is never about you. When people are angry and abusive, they usually have an issue in their lives that is driving their behavior. Whether their anger is “justified” or not, it is important to keep your personal boundaries and to insist on respectful conversations. Sometimes, you have to really just stop it. I have a little green cheeked conure [parrot] named Jimmy who says “stop it, now…stop it, Jimmy, right now! It’s like having a 2 year old repeating your worst phrases back to you!
Of course, we have to be a bit more diplomatic than that on the phone. My assistant, Carol, has a marvelous way of doing that by simply saying “I’m sorry to stop you…however I will have to close the phone now. Please put your concerns in writing.” and then she hangs up. She knows she has my complete backing, and more importantly, we document every call in the call log association management software (see www.campro.us) so there is never any confusion about who called when, how many times, and about what. It is an invaluable tool that allows her to see immediate history including phone calls, emails and past requests so she can be professional and responsive to residents and their concerns.
Living in the association as I do, I am often stopped by residents who want to vent or report an issue because they just happened to see me. Often, I know what is coming simply by who is approaching me. It isn’t always easy but I have learned how to say “please stop hollering and I will be happy to listen to you”, or “I’m sorry, I’m on my way out and I don’t have time to talk right now.” Setting boundaries isn’t always easy however with consistent, clear messages, it can be done.
Of course, the old adage is true, you can’t please everyone 100% of the time, but you can try!
Gayle J. Hasley,
Community Association Manager
Community Association Homeowner
gayle@campro.us
www.campro.us
